Attention: Sarah Silverman Has Some Pressing Opinions on Male Masturbation She’d Like to Share

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Credit: Instagram

Sarah Silverman has an important piece of legislation she would like to push: male masturbation needs to be monitored by the government.

Ok, we know what you’re thinking: this has to be another one of Sarah’s jokes, right?

But Sarah has actually thought this out quite extensively. See, if the government is going to legislate abortion, then it has to legislate sperm ejaculation!

Here’s something that I learned that is fascinating, and it’s this: Scientists have found that sperms cells smell. Like I know sperm smells, but sperm cells have the sense of smell, and you know what that means: Sperm is life. And you know what that means: We’ve gotta legislate that shit.”

Well, with logic like that, who can argue?

Sarah even has a (very graphic) plan for enacted said legislation.

“What we’ll do is — it’s a real simple procedure. We take a really long needle-like basically GoPro camera and we put it down your penis hole, urethra … then down into your testicular sack. We’re going to show you the ultrasound, so you can see the life in your balls,” she said.

Ok, so maybe the whole thing is a joke. But Sarah certainly gets her point across: men’s bodies aren’t monitored by the government and neither should women’s.

Perhaps not the tactic we personally would have taken, but the message — well, that we can get on board with.

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